At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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