Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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