My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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