I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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