Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
