she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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