At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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