I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
