Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Randomize
