Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we're making bets on your personal life
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
