it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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