that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
