I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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