He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
