so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this beer tastes like vomit already
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
