I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he was CRYING into my vagina
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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