She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize