my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
