I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize