it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
