Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize