just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
