After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
