Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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