Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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