Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
