I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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