a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There's even glitter on my cock...
the raccoons are back...
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