I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
