Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
