You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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