none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
