wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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