so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
