i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My balls are so social today.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
