I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
