Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
