She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
