Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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