bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize