Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
