I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
