wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize