is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
