Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm both gender and math confused
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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