Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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