Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize