Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
