Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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