Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize