How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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