i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
