So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Randomize
