Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
