Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
