how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
false alarm, still single
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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