She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am midnight drunk by noon
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
