What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize