I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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