This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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