so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
