Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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