I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize