I'm lost and stupid without you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
