Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
