Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize