just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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