I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
