SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
