and you said cock pushups were impossible
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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