She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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