new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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